Trust
by Dame Fortune
Summary: [One shot.][Squinoa.] A different take on the hearttoheart Squall and Rinoa share in FH after Squall becomes Commander.


_This is just a different take on what happened during the talk between Rinoa and Squall at the concert after Squall becomes Commander at Fisherman's Horizon, a'itey? Good._

_Oh, and this is the first time I've tried a story from a guy's p.o.v. so i dunno how a man's mind works (do i want to??) lol that's just a heads up..._ =)

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Trust

"We want you to talk to us a little more. That's all."

I looked down into the onyx eyes of seventeen-year-old Rinoa Heartilly as they flashed in the moonlight. Her words struck home and I had to look away.

She continued, "Y'know, if there's anything you want to tell us, or anything we can do, don't hesitate to let us know. I know it's not easy but I wish you would trust us and rely on us a little more!"

_Am I that untrusting...? Maybe I'm this way because I'm scared. Nothing lasts in this world. It feels great to have friends who believe in you, and adults you can rely on. That's why it's so dangerous, especially if you become used to it. Someday you're bound to loose everything. Everybody around you will be gone. Then what are you left with? Nothing. Nobody... It's so miserable. And it's inevitable. It's so hard to recover from something like that. I never ever want to deal with that again. I can't even if it means being alone..._

I could feel her eyes on me as I lost myself in my thoughts. I don't know what I would do if I lost any of my companions. No, they were my friends now. Despite how hard I had worked against it, I had definitely become dependant on my friends.

"I don't get it. What's going on?" Her words cut neatly through my thoughts and I glanced at her, but for once, she wasn't looking at me.

_Huh_?! _What? Oh me. _I turned to face her. "Sorry about that." I was hesitant to ask, "…So are we done here?"

I breathed a sigh of relief; she didn't seem to have heard me. She probably would have attacked me if she heard me. Her head was twisted back and she was looking up at the ledge she had just pushed me off of.

"What?" She seemed confused "No, I didn't mean you. I was talking about the music. I love this piece but it's been terrible for the last few minutes. Geez, what's wrong with them?"

I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or not, but I'm pretty sure it was to herself so I ignored her last comment. "Oh." Was all I said. What did she expect from me? "Well, I'll see you later, alright?"

Her slightly irritated expression was replaced by a deep frown, "Wait! You're not gettin' off that easy. You still owe me an answer," she insisted, stepping in my path.

_Answer for what? _I was bewildered. I thought about it for a second before it clicked, _Oh… _"Fine. I'll ask for help when I really need it. I'll try to trust everybody more often. Ok?" I was hoping this would get her off my back.

She stared at me incredulously. "What is your problem!? Why do you have to be like that!? Are you mad or something? Tell me you are, because this really can't be you!"

I stared down at her, unsure of what to say. She seemed to have that effect on me. I shrugged and muttered, "I'm sorry." What else should I have said?

She screeched in frustration and stamped her ivory heeled foot. "You're not sorry! You just wanna get the hell out of here, that's all! Geez, why does it have to be like this? Why?!" SHe stared at me an extra second, her eyes begging me to answer in a fashion that would placate her but there was nothing I could say.

She swung around, obviously intent on 'getting the hell out of here' herself but I grabbed her wrist. I couldn't really say which one of us was more surprised by the motion. It was so out of character for me, but I didn't release her wrist. I wasn't sure what I was going to tell her, if I was going to try and reassure her, but I just didn't want her to leave.

"Rinoa…" I trailed off, looking over her shoulder. I didn't know what she wanted to hear. There was a moment of silence between us as we listened to the ballad that Zell, Quistis, Irvine and Selphie were still playing on the plateau above us, beside the mayor's house. It was a nice song; hauntingly beautiful and very faint down here on the panels as we talked…or rather stood silently, awkwardly.

The four of them were blissfully unaware that their plan wasn't going the way they wanted it to, and if I had anything to do with it, it would stay that way. I didn't want them to keep trying fro something I couldn't give.

I know these people are here to talk to. But I don't want to risk getting attached to them and then go through losing the people I care about again. What would I do if something happened to them? It would destroy me, I'm sure. Loneliness was a strong and bitter force and something I knew only too well.

Unfortunately, we all knew the risks when we decided we wanted to be SeeDs. Rinoa knew the risks because of what her father did as a general. We weren't running into our battles unprepared, but there was always the risk that something could go wrong. Injury, death, fame, glory. It's a double edged sword. We could fight and fight and fight for the rest of our lives and might never accomplish anything, but I'd like to hold onto the fact that we're getting somewhere and this sorceress nonsense will be ended.

She was staring at me silently, waiting for me to say something. Impatience and irritation simmered under her cool, composed expression as she irritably tapped a nail against her arm.

"Rinoa…" I tried again, but the words clogged in my throat as she cocked her head expectantly as she did so often.

The first time I'd ever seen her do that was when she asked me to dance at the SeeD ball. She'd stood in front of me, a considering hand to her chin, her head to one side as she'd tried to convince me to dance with her. She'd been beautiful, clothed in creamy ivory, her hair a riot of raven locks and her wide midnight eyes dominating her petite features as she awaited my answer.

Just like now. The moonlight cascaded down from the sky and kissed her pale shoulders and dark hair. She stared at me unrelenting in her demand for answers.

The rich silk exposed her shoulders, calling attention to the delicate wisp of silver that held her plain band and my Griever. I'd never seen her take it off. It gave me a weird feeling to say that I didn't really mind so much…

A strip of lace kept the dress from being indecently high cut over the thigh… not that I'd looked for any length of time or anything… it was a casual observation. What? It was!

I knew every detail of the dress she wore, every detail of her face. I'd memorized even the smallest detail the night that our eyes had met as that star fallen through the sky. That had been my first night as a SeeD. Tonight was my first night as Commander. It was fitting that we'd end up together, with music at our backs.

I raised my head and listened to the ballad for a moment. Taking a deep breath I looked down at her, but she no longer seemed irritated. In fact, there was a shadow of a smile playing over her lips.

"What?" I asked, a little self-conscious. I wanted to shift my weight from one foot to the other, but I didn't want hr to know that I was nervous.

"Nothing." She replied. "You're just getting that frown again. The one that shows you're thinking too hard."

"Oh."

"Yeah." She brushed her hands over arms and looked around uncomfortably.

An idea popped into my head and the words left my lips before I could even consider them, "Dance with me?"

She stared at me like I was insane. Who knows, maybe I was. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, as if she was searching for the right words, but couldn't find them.

I grinned, "Let me guess... You'll only dance with someone you like."

She burst out laughing. She caught on quickly that she'd spoken these same exact words to me before. She grinned impishly, "You're right, I will only dance with someone I like. So, I want to dance with you."

I inhaled sharply and stared at her a moment, before her dancing eyes convinced me to close the distance between us. I pulled her into my arms

It was very much like the first night we'd met, only this time the song was slower and we didn't dance so much as sway to the music. I don't think either of us minded too much anyway.

When the song ended, I wished it hadn't. I didn't let go of her waist and she didn't bring her arms down from around my neck. We stood like that even when Selphie, Quistis, Zell and Irvine started up with a new, faster paced song.

She let out a hesitant breath, "Squall… Is it really so hard for you to trust us?"

"…Yes and no. I trust you all, I just have trouble with letting people know it. I don't want to lose anyone. I couldn't do that again. I couldn't live through all that again." I didn't know where the words were coming from, but I couldn't stop them. I realized that I did want to. I wanted her to know. I needed her to understand. I couldn't keep going on without someone there for me.

She smiled, "We will always be here. I'll always be here."

A warm glow spread through me at these words. I cupped a hand to her cheek and felt her breath whisper out unsteadily. She was just as nervous as I was.

Slowly she rose onto her toes and press her lips to mine. I was stunned, but it was a good kind of stunned. I felt my muscles tense up as they tightened around her waist. I wasn't sure what to do, so I tried to shut off my brain.

She eased back and looked at me, smiling wobbly in an unsure fashion. I stared down at her for a moment before stepping back. "I-I-I," I stuttered, so completely nervous.

She bit her lip and couldn't meet my eyes. I was finding it difficult to meet hers at the same time. "Squall…" she said gently, extending a trembling hand.

Slowly, I extended my own arm and entwined my gloved hand with hers. I gave a shaky smile and she returned it. It was an awkward moment, but also a comfortable one and I didn't want to leave.

It's one thing to face a giant man-eating lizard, but a 5'3'' petite girl with a voice like silk? Takes more bravery for the latter, I think, and I'm not sure I could handle this.

I pulled her body close to mine and pressed my lips to hers. "Thanks for the pep talk, Rinoa."

She grinned against my lips. "No problem, Commander."

_

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Well, I'm less than pleased with this. In fact, I think it's crappy, but I've gone through it at least 6 times and I can't figure out what's wrong with it. It could be the entire idea or it could just be that I've never done a story from a guy's p.o.v. anyway, leave some useful feedback, wouldja? Thanks._


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